Just over one year completed...and the thoughts to go along with that

What Guatemala has taught me during my first year here:

-Dogs are not your friends and the second you take your eye off of them they will bite you on the leg (true story). It is also beneficial to learn the “I’m bending down to pick up a rock to throw at you” move so that you can dissuade would be leg biters from coming near you.

-How to deal with bed bugs…remove all sheets, put them in plastic garbage bags, spray an entire can of Raid in the bag and leave them outside in the sun for a few weeks. Meanwhile you have to buy huge amounts of plastic sheeting and wrap your bed in it while using all of the duct tape you brought with you for 2 years in order to secure it.

-How to deal with fleas…first you have to determine that they aren’t bed bugs…we did this by catching one of them right after it bit my leg and burrowed into the blanket and then took the body to the internet café…thanks to google we confirmed that it was in fact a flea. Flea powder seems to work, but they just keep coming back, especially after packed bus rides…thanks neighbors for being so willing to share with us!!

-There is no shame in pooping your pants.

-There is definite shame in vomiting on the nice American man sitting next to you on the bus.

-There is also shame in having your child pee in a plastic bag and then you vomit in a similar type of bag which you then put on the floor of the bus which eventually ends up spilling all over the feet of the same nice American man sitting next to you on the bus.

-It is not necessary to throw your trash in a garbage can if it is easier and more convenient to throw it on the ground or out of a bus window, whichever is closer.

-Most meat tastes better unrefrigerated and marinated in fly kisses.

-Don’t ever buy spinach or lettuce in the local markets, unless you want to lose a good 5 to 10 pounds over the course of a few days.

-No matter what scent of laundry soap you use, all your clothes are going to end up  smelling like smoke.

-If a man is seen doing laundry in any rural community, it is the job of any and all surrounding women to harass said man and to ask him when he is going to wash their laundry as well.

-Don’t eat before going to anyone’s home around meal times.

-Anytime you are invited to a local event, expect to sit up front and say a few words to the crowd…no matter how irrelevant you may feel your presence or your remarks might be. If there is a road in town that was just built you had better comment on it.

-Never bother leaving a voice mail, just keep calling until someone picks up. This also goes for knocking on someone’s door. If they don’t answer right away, keep knocking, it literally makes people appear, even if they aren’t home.

-Don’t bother telling someone they’ve dialed the wrong number. If you tell someone they’ve dialed the wrong number they will just keep calling you until they’ve determined that it is in fact the wrong number no matter how many times you explain it to them, in Spanish or in English.

These are but a few of the pearls of wisdom I have obtained in this first year. Can’t wait to see what the next year holds!!